Book + Excerpt: Kindness and Resistance

From In Defense of Kindness: Why It Matters, How It Changes Our Lives, and How It Can Save the World (Chalice Books, 2023)

Because I am woefully behind on a book manuscript deadline — Prophets, Priests, Pastors, and Poets: Being and Becoming the Resurrected Christ — in lieu of new content and for the next month or two, I will share book excerpts from past book projects. I would not hate it if you bought a copy or ten :-)

Just before our arrest in 2018.

Chapter 9: Kindness and Resistance

In Defense of Kindness: Why It Matters, How It Changes Our Lives, and How It Can Save the World (Chalice Press, 2021), 69–75

In 2018, along with about thirty other religious leaders, I was arrested at the US-Mexico border as part of an action to bring visibility to the militarization of the border and the cruelty of the US immigration system. Despite the militaristic intimidation, testosterone-fueled chest-beating, and physical nature of the actual arrest, what stuck with me is kindness. No, neither Border Patrol nor Homeland Security agents acknowledged that we were beautifully and divinely created humans. Rather, sitting in the back of the police van cuffed and crowded together with friends old and new, humanity reigned. Old and young; Muslim, Christian, and Buddhist; white, Brown, and Black; newbies to civil disobedience and veterans to troublemaking laughed and commiserated together. We genuinely got to know one another as people, individually created beautiful human beings.

I am one of those people who has pretty much never encountered a protest that I did not want to attend. My family and religious roots have taught me to show up, speak up, and shine light upon unjust systems. I have attended radical actions, I have organized public actions, and I have participated in mainstream marches. I have been struck by police batons and feared for my body, I have been arrested gently and wondered how this could be called protest, and I have been arrested forcefully and have wondered whether I would be hustled off to some secret Homeland Security facility.

I believe that active, persistent, and public resistance is crucial to the success of any and all movements for change.

Because I am committed to active resistance and because we often think of the fight for social justice causes as aggressive, even sometimes violent, I know that this may be one of the more difficult places to see the power of kindness. Protests, marches, sit-ins, civil disobedience, even riots—all play a part in achieving justice and equality in the world. Without the voices from the edges publicly demanding, wailing, and protesting, institutions and systems that engage in exclusionary, oppressive, or marginalizing practices continue to operate with apathy or impunity. Destructive systems do not change themselves, and those working for change within these systems can’t do it alone.

It is not surprising that, when faced with oppressive and violent situations, people have a hard time seeing kindness as a valuable and practical response. Certainly anger and rage are justified reactions in response to acts of injustice and oppressive systems. Yet anger and rage are not sustainable or life-giving over the long haul. Not only do we run the risk of escalating a culture of violence and retribution, but time and time again I have seen how anger can change the way people interact with those closest to them. Such anger typically comes not from righteous indignation but from unexpected burnout, a lack of self-awareness, and the burden of constant oppression and frustration. Anger and rage have their place. But at some point, we have to find ways to channel that rage and anger into actions that advance movements for equality and justice.

In the journey toward justice, no matter what issue is being confronted—ableism, xenophobia, misogyny, homophobia, racism, militarism, et cetera—it takes multiple tactics and perspectives to achieve just results. When the time is right for each of us, we must embrace actions and responses that recognize the humanity and dignity of the other, no matter how heinous the act that we are addressing.

Public protest, political resistance, and the fight for social justice are not just about confrontation. Here are a few ways in which I view kindness as part of that work.

Violence and aggression: Self-defense is one thing, but at the end of the day, I am committed to nonviolence. I understand why some reach a different conclusion and, like Martin Luther King Jr., see riots and other outbreaks of violence as expressions of pent-up frustrations and being unheard. But violence as a primary tactic does not value the human dignity of the other that is required of a posture of kindness. If I believe that my liberation can only come from your death, then what does that say about my liberation? Yes, there are horrible players in the world, both individual and institutional, who deserve to be locked away, dismantled, or removed from a place of power, but doing so through violence is not something I can support. This is not Pollyannaish or naive. Quite the opposite: kindness is a more difficult path because it requires us, first, to believe that each and every person has value and deserves to be seen as a created being and, second, not to let anger, hatred, or violence win the day.

Communal experience: As in my experience of being arrested at the border, one of the powerful outcomes of protest is community. Most of us who have been involved in these kinds of actions in the past know that the community-building component is real. Even so, we sometimes lapse into behaviors that are anything but kind. Sometimes our passions morph into purity tests, our egos take precedence over the good of the community, and we begin to think that the entire endeavor is all about us. The embodiment of kindness as part of these kinds of actions requires us to see one another as complex and created human beings who also happen to hold common political, ideological, or religious views. When we are able and willing to do this, movements become bonded by relationships and a depth of common purpose, thus giving the movement power and focus that would otherwise elude us.

Acts of civil disobedience: Not everyone has the space or privilege to participate in acts of civil disobedience. Because of life situations, immigration status, or other factors, there are many people who would be more than willing to engage in civil disobedience but would pay a price greater than many others to do so. Civil disobedience is not the only way we can push for greater social justice.

That said, if you ever are able to participate in civil disobedience and risk arrest, you will find that the training is done with a lens of kindness and humanity: yours, that of law enforcement, and that of everyone else who is involved. Not only will you be trained not to provoke, but you will also be trained that the heart of the act is to highlight the plight of human beings. When it comes to responding to law enforcement personnel, we focus on not reacting with violence no matter how much the system encourages them to try and provoke an aggressive act toward them. In this act, we are saying to those before us that we are all more than what the system wants us to be seen as or how the system wants us to behave—and we will act accordingly. In holding firm to such nonviolence, we force those who are acting as agents for the system to see us as human beings and question what they are doing rather than see us as ideological opposition that can be treated with detachment and disregard.

Spark is important, but kindness will sustain. Every person has a role in movements for justice and change. Some are thinkers, others are agitators, others are relationship builders, and still others work from within the system. There is a time and place for all who are in these struggles, but for those who are at the forefront of the protests, I know that sparks such as protests are only as effective and powerful as the systemic societal changes that come out of them. In this regard, kindness toward one another and valuing the role that everyone has in the movement is crucial. Yes, those with common goals must hold one another accountable for our actions and impact on people, but we must also hold with care the bigger picture and process of change. As we engage in this work over a lifetime, we will at some point find ourselves on both sides of the “move faster” or “be patient” divide. Though it is frustrating while we are in the thick of things, the power lies in us all needing each other in order for real change to happen. So rather than seeing coconspirators as those who have oppositional tactics and are not worthy of our time, empathy, or support, we must take comfort in the knowledge that these diverse tactics are fueled by our common passion for justice, making our individual tactics that much more powerful in combination with theirs.

There will always be injustice in the world, because, you know, humans. The question is how we will choose to respond to the injustice around us. There will be days on which the onslaught of news that highlights political nonsense, moral depravity, and human tragedy is overwhelming and makes it seem as if our efforts are useless, like trying to empty a sinking boat with a thimble. During these times, the choice to give in and give up will be tempting, especially for those of us who sit in positions of social, cultural, or economic privilege. It’s tempting to throw our hands up in resignation, to turn our backs on the suffering of others, and to adopt an “every man for himself” mentality.

Please do not choose this.

For those who see no use in doing anything different because the world always has and always will be filled with awfulness, I say, “But can you imagine how much worse it would be if some people had given up along the way?” Yes, the world does seem like a constant dumpster fire fueled by racism, xenophobia, misogyny, greed, and so on. But as we look back on the previous generation’s struggles, we realize that in many ways we have moved forward. Some of the gains have been short-lived, and context matters greatly. Even so, things would be much worse if those called to the work of social justice had simply given up.

There will be times when the steps of progress seem small. Please remain in the struggle, recommit to the struggle, or join the struggle for the first time. Kindness, and the commitment to see the other as deserving of human dignity, demands of us to protest, resist, and do all that we can to fight that which says otherwise. Not only do we have the power to make sure that things do not get worse, but over the long haul, we also have the power to make long-lasting change for good.

I need you.

We need one another.

We can only do this together.

For Reflection:

• When have you seen individual kindness embodied in the context of public protest?

• How might organizers ensure that their actions do not reinforce or encourage acts that dehumanize, demean, or dismiss the humanity of those who are the target of the action?

Try This:

• If you have never been to a protest, go.

• At your next public action, take a moment to get to know

  someone else’s story.

My arrest on the US/Mexico Border

Thanks for reading this book excerpt. All of my books can be found on bookshop.com or wherever you buy books to be added to your nightstand pile.