A Plea for Empathy
No Matter Who, No Matter When, No Matter Where
A few years ago, in In Defense of Kindness, I argued that there is power in being kind. I was not talking about being nice to avoid conflict, maintaining peace by remaining in abusive relationships, or participating in the shallow acts of the kindness industrial complex, rather what I argued for is harnessing the transformative power that can come about if we commit to kindness in our whole lives, as defined as . . .
To be kind is to accept that each person is a created and complex human being—and to treat them as if you believe this to be true.
In many ways, I feel the same about empathy and its power over evil in the world. Now, before folks get all squeamish about “evil,” I am simply talking about the idea that at the end of the day, division, destruction, and despair will win the day. As a Christian, I do not believe that to be the case. I believe my tradition and the traditions of others’ teach that experiencing the beloved community, knowing deep personal connections, and realizing unimaginable hopes are some of the greatest intentions for humanity — and none are possible without empathy.
One of the things evil feeds on is our inability and unwillingness to experience and express empathy toward even our deepest enemies. To be clear, empathy does not mean we unconditionally condone others’ actions, agree with their ideas, or even have to like them. Rather, empathy reminds us that everyone experiences pain, loss, and despair — and probably more than we could ever imagine. Empathy reminds us that even as we hold people accountable for their inaction, actions, and words, we do so without stripping away their humanity. Empathy reminds us to acknowledge that even those who may do the worst are still created beings and loved by God and that we are not the arbiters of who does or does not deserve to be seen as such.
Empathy is a holy practice that challenges us to take seriously a belief in the irrational, unimaginable, and expansive love of the divine.
Empathy is a huge ask.
Empathy is an excruciating practice and discipline but a potent antidote to a world of militarism, violence, and greed fueled by the ills of division, dehumanization, and indifference. Practicing empathy prevents evil from having the last of the moment, the day, the decade, our hearts, our minds, our souls, and the world.
So today and every day, I hope that we all not only experience empathy from others in response to the pain, loss, and despair we may be holding, but that we may also choose to offer the same to others.